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Monika Whitmore - Emotional Wellness Coach

hello@monikawhitmore.com

(816) 392-3034

Emotional Freedom

One of the most beautiful side effects of investing time and energy in our own emotional wellness is the effect it has on our relationships.

For me, it's important to recognize that the people on the other side of my relationships didn't actually change, I did. And more specifically, the way I THINK did.

I've always felt very close and connected to my children. But after fully stepping into what I refer to as "emotional freedom," I've seen those relationships truly blossom. I'm more present to their interests and needs. We talk about things on a deeper level. We connect in more profound ways.

I no longer blame them for making me feel frustrated or overwhelmed. That's on me. And how I choose to respond to any given situation. When they don't do something I ask them to do, I recognize that the thoughts I'm having about it are what's causing me to feel the way I do.

No one can MAKE YOU feel any emotion. There's real power in accepting that statement as truth. Instead of blaming someone else for how I feel, I've learned to get curious anytime I start to feel an emotion I'd consider negative. I take a close look at what I'm thinking. Crappy thoughts = crappy feeling. Change your thoughts, change your feeling.

So many of us are stuck in emotional childhood. Stuck in a place of reacting to situations from a place of fear, hurt, or anger.

On the other side of emotional childhood is emotional adulthood. Not many people are taught how to feel, so don't beat yourself up if you're someone who feels stuck in emotional childhood.

But please hear me when I say: there is a way out.

Want to explore the world of emotional adulthood? Reach out to me to schedule a free consultation. I'm happy to help guide you on this journey to freedom.

It's Time to Reclaim Your Life

Does this sound familiar?

You wake up 30 minutes late because you hit snooze a few too many times (everyone does that though, right?). Your morning is hectic, rushed. You find yourself yelling at the kids to hurry up while shoving a couple of donuts in your mouth that they left sitting on the counter.

You rush out the door, drop off the kids, only to find yourself sitting in standstill rush hour traffic. Frustrated doesn’t even begin to describe what you’re feeling behind the wheel. Rage is more like it. You’re flipping people off and getting flipped off all while listening to the fear-mongering, depressing news on the radio.

You arrive to work late, frazzled, and feeling stressed before you even get started on your overflowing inbox. You open your email to find that you’re definitely behind. 132 emails behind, to be exact.

You have lunch delivered because there’s no way you can get away for even 15 minutes. You have a report due by 3PM!

But you’re still working on it at 5:00 and the kids need to be picked up by 5:30. You’re scrambling to get out the door so you won’t have to pay the late pick up fees (again).

You find yourself back in rush hour traffic, frantically screaming at the person in front of you who also happens to be at a complete standstill.

Then when you finally get to the daycare, your kids get one look at you, turn around, and run the other way. Can you blame them?

NOW, CAN YOU IMAGINE THIS?

Your alarm goes off and you willingly wake up, feeling refreshed and well-rested. You lay in bed a few extra minutes bringing to mind the things you’re grateful for. One of those things is your favorite blend of coffee that is waiting for you in your kitchen! 

You walk into the kitchen to find your kids eating the well-balanced breakfast you showed them how to prepare. You join them at the table and talk about the day ahead.

You have just the right amount of time to get yourself ready, grab your lunch, and head out the door.

After you drop off the kids, you put on your favorite podcast and soak up all the positive energy you can, setting yourself up for an empowered, productive day at the office. 

Your inbox is full but that’s OK because you are motivated and understand that you’re only one human being, doing the best you can with what you have. You talk to your boss about the report that’s due at 3PM and she graciously agrees to give you an extension so you can offer your best work.

It’s lunch time. You understand the importance of stepping away from your desk to eat the delicious lunch you packed for yourself. You recharge, refuel, and get back at it!

You remain engaged and focused throughout the afternoon. You feel energized by the value you’re adding to your agency. You support your co-workers and they support you.

You leave work on time, something you’ve committed to doing every day. You take a moment to feel grateful for a work environment that supports balanced living. 

You look forward to your drive home. There may be a lot of traffic, but that just means more time to listen to your favorite podcast. You now see car time as “me time,” and you’ve seen how investing time in yourself overflows into every area of your life. 

You arrive to pick up your kids. They see you, with a big smile on your face, and they come running toward you for a big hug.

Sound too good to be true? I PROMISE YOU. THIS KIND OF MAGIC IS POSSIBLE! Want to work toward your perfect day? Click HERE to sign up for a 100% free, no obligation 60 minute coaching session. It’s time to reclaim your life! Let’s do this together.

Hate filling out forms? Send me a quick email at hello@monikawhitmore.com or call me at (816) 392-3034.

Embracing Change

I was definitely not planning on using the DSM-5...as a laptop booster.

But sometimes plans change. And I choose to believe our paths are always preparing us for what’s next, even if we’re not aware of it. Even if we don’t really KNOW what’s next.

The reality is I didn’t need a master’s degree in clinical social work in order to do the work I’m now doing. However, I believe a solid understanding of mental illness makes me a better emotional wellness coach. And I LOVE coaching! 

But here’s the thing, friends. I also want to help change how we think about and therefore treat mental health. I am fascinated with learning about the root causes of feeling mentally and emotionally unwell, specifically in regard to depression and anxiety. 

We know there is not a single cause. In fact, the mainstream understanding is that there are biological, psychological, and environmental factors at play. But how much of each? And what can we do about them? Is healing possible? 

As I’ve mentioned before, I DO NOT believe we were designed to suffer. I do believe it’s possible to heal and grow. 

So, what if we started thinking about the signs and symptoms of depression and anxiety as indicators from our body that something is off. That we need to pay attention and make some changes in our lives.

Please hear me when I say: I’m not here to discredit the real-ness of mental illness. NOPE. Not in the least. I’m here to offer a different perspective, and more importantly…hope for healing. 

Emotional Wellness Manifesto

When I decided to become a life coach, I could have went a million different directions with my practice. However, it didn’t take long for me to hone in on an area that I’m extremely passionate about: emotional wellness. 

I decided I wanted to help people FEEL better, because when you FEEL better you can DO better. And I believe life is about DOING things. The more fun things, the better! 

I DON’T believe we were put on this earth to suffer.
I DO believe we were put on this earth to experience love, to grow, have fun, and evolve.

I DON’T believe we have to continue believing our childhood programming (call it hardwiring, our subconscious, but whatever you wanna call it, believe me…it’s there!).
I DO believe we can start to identify, challenge, and rewrite what we want to believe about ourselves, others, and the world.

I DON’T believe we give enough attention to maintaining emotional wellness but rather focus on trying to “fix” things once they are broken.
I DO believe in the power of mindfulness, living life with intention, and keeping a positive perspective.

I DON’T believe most human beings are as connected as they would like to believe.
I DO believe in the power of authentic human interaction, the importance of meaningful work, connection to nature, and the significance of hope in a brighter future.

I DON’T believe tolerating our lives is honoring our ourselves or a higher power.
I DO believe you are capable of more.

What is it like to work with me?

Three words: exploratory, transformative, fun.

Exploratory: When I start working with new clients, I take time to genuinely get to know them. I look at what’s working well in their lives and what’s not. I ask questions that get at the heart of their thought patterns and belief systems without dwelling on the past itself. 

I encourage my clients to get curious about the results they have been getting in their lives. Together, we explore how their thoughts have been creating their feelings which ultimately drive their actions (or inactions).

Thinking THOUGHTS that you’re inadequate? Betcha you’re FEELING inadequate. When you’re feeling inadequate I doubt you feel like DOING much of anything, because it probably won’t be good enough. RESULT: further evidence that you’re inadequate. 

I help clients break this cycle. We explore how they want to feel and work backward to find thoughts that will better serve them on their journey. We look at how they want to show up in their lives and how they will need to FEEL in order to honor that desire.

Transformative: I would never suggest I know what is best for another person. However I love working with people to uncover what they truly want in life and addressing the blocks that are keeping them from creating their best life. 

When I work with clients, we create goals and a plan of action. We address obstacles that will inevitably show up and strategize how to deal with those challenges in the moment.

We practice thinking better thoughts. We celebrate successes and plan for the future…all while intentionally finding joy in the present moment. 

Hands down, the most fulfilling part of my job is seeing clients embrace the power of their minds and using that power to create better lives for themselves.

Fun: I am committed to the belief that life is supposed to be FUN! 

I encourage my clients to look for opportunities to laugh, play, and create. I ask them to purposefully have more fun and not take life too seriously.

Even tasks they’ve deemed tedious or boring, I challenge them to consider how to make them more fun. Make it a game! Crank up some music! Find reasons to be grateful for the task at hand! It’s pretty hard to be grateful and pissed off at the same time. 

Here’s the thing. When it’s all said and done, you’re more likely to regret the things you didn’t do than the things you did do. So I say…choose fun!