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Monika Whitmore - Emotional Wellness Coach

hello@monikawhitmore.com

(816) 392-3034

What is it like to work with me?

Three words: exploratory, transformative, fun.

Exploratory: When I start working with new clients, I take time to genuinely get to know them. I look at what’s working well in their lives and what’s not. I ask questions that get at the heart of their thought patterns and belief systems without dwelling on the past itself. 

I encourage my clients to get curious about the results they have been getting in their lives. Together, we explore how their thoughts have been creating their feelings which ultimately drive their actions (or inactions).

Thinking THOUGHTS that you’re inadequate? Betcha you’re FEELING inadequate. When you’re feeling inadequate I doubt you feel like DOING much of anything, because it probably won’t be good enough. RESULT: further evidence that you’re inadequate. 

I help clients break this cycle. We explore how they want to feel and work backward to find thoughts that will better serve them on their journey. We look at how they want to show up in their lives and how they will need to FEEL in order to honor that desire.

Transformative: I would never suggest I know what is best for another person. However I love working with people to uncover what they truly want in life and addressing the blocks that are keeping them from creating their best life. 

When I work with clients, we create goals and a plan of action. We address obstacles that will inevitably show up and strategize how to deal with those challenges in the moment.

We practice thinking better thoughts. We celebrate successes and plan for the future…all while intentionally finding joy in the present moment. 

Hands down, the most fulfilling part of my job is seeing clients embrace the power of their minds and using that power to create better lives for themselves.

Fun: I am committed to the belief that life is supposed to be FUN! 

I encourage my clients to look for opportunities to laugh, play, and create. I ask them to purposefully have more fun and not take life too seriously.

Even tasks they’ve deemed tedious or boring, I challenge them to consider how to make them more fun. Make it a game! Crank up some music! Find reasons to be grateful for the task at hand! It’s pretty hard to be grateful and pissed off at the same time. 

Here’s the thing. When it’s all said and done, you’re more likely to regret the things you didn’t do than the things you did do. So I say…choose fun!

Do Your Chores - #relationshipgoals

About a year or so ago I started a new personal practice when it comes to household tasks. To say it has brought me (and my partner) a significant amount of peace would be a huge understatement.

Basically, it goes something like this:

If I see something that needs to be done around the house, I only complete it from a place of love. Otherwise, I STRAIGHT UP leave it. 

 

Dirty socks on the floor? Made peace with them.

Piles of unfolded laundry on the bed? Made peace with them.

Dirty dishes in the sink? Made peace with them.

 

“Wait,” you may say. “How can I make peace with dirty dishes? Especially since I’ve done them the past 5 nights and *insert partner/roommate’s name here* hasn’t done them since who-the-hell-knows-when?!?” 

Here’s how: learn to either love ‘em or leave ‘em! 

I recommend you leave ‘em until you can do one of two things:

1.    Wash them from a place of peace and love

2.    Work out an agreement with your partner/roommate

“What’s this agreement you speak of?”

So glad you asked!

Instead of setting yourself up for failure by having an (often unspoken) expectation that another human being will do exactly what you want them to do, exactly when you want them to do it, make an agreement.

The conversation may go a little something like this: 

“Hey, partner/roommate. Can we come up with some kind of plan for keeping up on the dishes? Something we can both agree on?” 

Then you hash out a plan. Because that’s what grown-ups do.

Some people find that simply asking another person, in a kind, loving manner, to complete a task works just as well. I’ll leave the experimentation process up to you.

“But what happens when said partner/roommate doesn’t hold up their end of the agreement?” 

Then LEAVE THE DAMN DISHES ALONE. Or wash them from a place of love. A place that believes things like, “they were probably just too busy” or “they probably just forgot.”

However, whatever you do, DO NOT wash those dishes from a place of anger or frustration. You DO NOT need that kind of negativity in your life. 

Things that help me enjoy my household tasks:

·     Listening to music or inspiring podcasts while completing them

·     Focusing on how grateful I am to have those things in my life – my house, my clothes, my dishes, etc.  

·     Doing something that puts me in my happy place before tackling the task

I challenge you to try this! It might just change your life (and your relationship).