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I am happy to address any topic related to emotional, spiritual, or physical well-being. Just send me a quick email to share your ideas with me. Or reach out to me on Facebook or Instagram.

Monika Whitmore - Emotional Wellness Coach

hello@monikawhitmore.com

(816) 392-3034

Emotional Freedom

One of the most beautiful side effects of investing time and energy in our own emotional wellness is the effect it has on our relationships.

For me, it's important to recognize that the people on the other side of my relationships didn't actually change, I did. And more specifically, the way I THINK did.

I've always felt very close and connected to my children. But after fully stepping into what I refer to as "emotional freedom," I've seen those relationships truly blossom. I'm more present to their interests and needs. We talk about things on a deeper level. We connect in more profound ways.

I no longer blame them for making me feel frustrated or overwhelmed. That's on me. And how I choose to respond to any given situation. When they don't do something I ask them to do, I recognize that the thoughts I'm having about it are what's causing me to feel the way I do.

No one can MAKE YOU feel any emotion. There's real power in accepting that statement as truth. Instead of blaming someone else for how I feel, I've learned to get curious anytime I start to feel an emotion I'd consider negative. I take a close look at what I'm thinking. Crappy thoughts = crappy feeling. Change your thoughts, change your feeling.

So many of us are stuck in emotional childhood. Stuck in a place of reacting to situations from a place of fear, hurt, or anger.

On the other side of emotional childhood is emotional adulthood. Not many people are taught how to feel, so don't beat yourself up if you're someone who feels stuck in emotional childhood.

But please hear me when I say: there is a way out.

Want to explore the world of emotional adulthood? Reach out to me to schedule a free consultation. I'm happy to help guide you on this journey to freedom.

An Exciting Announcement

I am SUPER excited to announce...

I created a new Facebook group. It's called Emotional Wellness Connection.

This group is a safe place for people to discuss topics related to emotional health and wellness. It is a community focused on hope, healing, and support.

After spending half of my life (18 whole years) believing I was destined to a life plagued by symptoms of depression and anxiety, I now long to be an example of what is possible. My emotional wellness journey has been brutiful (brutally beautiful). I've released attachment to the thoughts, actions, and opinions of others. I listen to and honor my inner voice. And I absolutely LOVE working with people who ready to take these brave steps as well.

This group may be a good fit for you if:

You have suffered from or are currently suffering from symptoms of depression and anxiety AND

You want to take an active role in your health and wellness journey AND

You are open to natural, holistic ways to be, grow, and evolve.

This group is NOT a good fit for you if:

You identify as a victim to your circumstances and emotions.

You prefer to complain about your situation as opposed to learn from it.

You are not open to new viewpoints.

Members must agree to be supportive and respectful. Absolutely no harassment or bullying will be tolerated. Each week, there will be themed days.

  • Motivation Monday

  • Transformation Tuesday

  • Wellness Wednesday

  • Thankful Thursday

  • Fun Friday

No matter where you are on your emotional wellness journey, if you're looking for support or to support others, YOU belong. YOU are welcome here.

Click here to learn more or to join Emotional Wellness Connection.

Dissecting Diet Culture

As I sat down to write this blog, I realized that I’ve ALMOST written on this subject five different times. The truth is, I feel torn on how to balance my feelings on the subject. 

On one hand, I despise the pressure so many people in our society feel about looking a certain way, fitting a certain mold. I don’t even need to explain this any further because the standard of beauty has been so ingrained in us from every direction, from every media outlet. You ALL know what I’m talking about.  

On the other hand, I recognize our nation is facing an obesity epidemic that impacts the physical and emotional wellbeing of millions of people.

On one hand, I know I should never judge another person’s situation because you truly never know what they’re going through. 

On the other hand, I know there are so many people who want help with issues such as emotional overeating, but feel stuck and helpless. I’ve been there and it’s scary. And I needed help to get through it.

Are you seeing my dilemma? Nevertheless, when I get quiet and listen to my inner voice, I know the answer is always rooted in love and compassion. But only 100% of the time (love you, Byron Katie)! More on that in a bit!

First, let me share my definition of diet culture as the pervasive belief that thinness is equal to worthiness, success, and beauty. Diet culture encourages you to change your body based on the lie that you’ll feel sexier, happier, more successful when you’re smaller. The fact is, if you don’t do the inner work, NOTHING you do to change your outer appearance will help. 

The only way to feel sexier, happier, and more successful is to have sexier, happier, and more successful thoughts about yourself. And that’s possible at any size. It may be hard in the beginning, but I promise, it’s possible (and one of my favorite things to work with my clients to master).

Diet culture is also FULL of judgements. Some direct, others more subtle. Here’s a seemingly harmless example. You see a friend you haven’t seen in months. You say, “Wow, you look great! You’ve lost so much weight!” Whether you realize it or not, you just made the connection that weight loss = great. The unspoken counter message is that weight gain = bad.

Think about the impact this has on children, whose developing brains are being programmed with these messages.  

Below, I’m going to share with you some of my observations about diet culture and offer some alternative ways to think about food, exercise, and overall wellbeing. 

Diet culture: Hyper-focus on food. Food controls your day. You obsess about food you’ve already eaten, what you are currently eating, and what you’ll eat next. 

Instead: Thoroughly enjoy food when you’re eating. Focus your attention on more important things when you’re not eating. If your mind wanders to food, notice it, and consciously shift your attention to what you are doing in the present moment.

Diet culture: Labels foods as either good or bad. This sets you up to make “good” choices and “bad” choices all day long. Your worth is often tied to these choices.

Instead: Think about food as fuel and nourishment for our bodies. 

Diet culture: Exercise is a tool for weight loss. It should be difficult and painful in order to be effective.

Instead: Exercise is a tool for emotional wellbeing. Find a form that you enjoy.

Diet culture: Masks judgement about other people’s bodies and life choices as concern for their health. 

Instead: Remind yourself that you can never truly know what another person is going through. Also: Other people’s bodies are none of your concern.

Diet culture: Compliments people on weight loss.

Instead: Compliment people on their beautiful smile. How they light up a room. How helpful they’ve been. 

Diet culture: Celebrates hard work, deprivation, sacrifice, and willpower.

Instead: Celebrate choices that align with your inner voice or your core values.

Diet culture: Encourages you to change your body to fit societal standards.

Instead: Focus on your emotional wellbeing, healing inner wounds, and reconnecting with your inner strength. Inner turmoil will not be resolved with a smaller body.

Has something I’ve shared here today resonated with you? If so, please let me know!

And if you’d like more information about working with me one-on-one, please email me at hello@monikawhitmore.com or call me at: (816) 392-3034. 

Are you living your life on auto-pilot?

Before you answer, let me tell you what the research says: YOU ARE. 

 

Unless you are making a concerted effort to live every day of your life with intention, you are falling victim to the power of your primal brain. 

 

Most likely, you are going through your day, reacting to things as they occur. Making decisions based on preprogrammed information, stories you have created in your mind. 

 

Living life on auto-pilot helps your brain conserve energy because it doesn’t have to work so hard. The brain LOVES structure and routine because it’s familiar and safe. And your primal brain’s primary job is to keep you safe. So…good job, primal brain! 

 

If you decide to break out of your comfort zone, your primal brain will be sure to send you all kinds of warning signs. Abort mission! Danger ahead! However, knowing these warning signs are designed to protect you can actually help you move forward. You can acknowledge them for what they are: a protective mechanism. Some suggest even having a little chat with your primal brain. It may go a little something like this: “Thanks, primal brain, for keeping me safe. But I’ve got this! Your job here is done. I’m going to use my prefrontal cortex now, to continue moving ahead, out of auto-pilot and toward my goal!”

 

Thankfully, as humans, we have access to another part of our brains that helps us rationalize, plan, and strategize. It’s called the prefrontal cortex, and it’s the part of our brain that allows us to question our preprogrammed thoughts, to challenge our habitual thinking and doing.

 

Now, my question to you is this: if you continue living the way you’ve always lived, if you keep playing it safe, what opportunities will you miss out on? What goals won’t you reach? Or even set for yourself? Will you continue to settle for an “OK” life when deep down you know something greater is possible?

 

If you’d like some help deciding what changes you’d like to make or someone to help keep you accountable, I’m your gal. Reach out to me any way you’d like. Facebook, Instagram, email, phone. Let’s connect!

It's Time to Reclaim Your Life

Does this sound familiar?

You wake up 30 minutes late because you hit snooze a few too many times (everyone does that though, right?). Your morning is hectic, rushed. You find yourself yelling at the kids to hurry up while shoving a couple of donuts in your mouth that they left sitting on the counter.

You rush out the door, drop off the kids, only to find yourself sitting in standstill rush hour traffic. Frustrated doesn’t even begin to describe what you’re feeling behind the wheel. Rage is more like it. You’re flipping people off and getting flipped off all while listening to the fear-mongering, depressing news on the radio.

You arrive to work late, frazzled, and feeling stressed before you even get started on your overflowing inbox. You open your email to find that you’re definitely behind. 132 emails behind, to be exact.

You have lunch delivered because there’s no way you can get away for even 15 minutes. You have a report due by 3PM!

But you’re still working on it at 5:00 and the kids need to be picked up by 5:30. You’re scrambling to get out the door so you won’t have to pay the late pick up fees (again).

You find yourself back in rush hour traffic, frantically screaming at the person in front of you who also happens to be at a complete standstill.

Then when you finally get to the daycare, your kids get one look at you, turn around, and run the other way. Can you blame them?

NOW, CAN YOU IMAGINE THIS?

Your alarm goes off and you willingly wake up, feeling refreshed and well-rested. You lay in bed a few extra minutes bringing to mind the things you’re grateful for. One of those things is your favorite blend of coffee that is waiting for you in your kitchen! 

You walk into the kitchen to find your kids eating the well-balanced breakfast you showed them how to prepare. You join them at the table and talk about the day ahead.

You have just the right amount of time to get yourself ready, grab your lunch, and head out the door.

After you drop off the kids, you put on your favorite podcast and soak up all the positive energy you can, setting yourself up for an empowered, productive day at the office. 

Your inbox is full but that’s OK because you are motivated and understand that you’re only one human being, doing the best you can with what you have. You talk to your boss about the report that’s due at 3PM and she graciously agrees to give you an extension so you can offer your best work.

It’s lunch time. You understand the importance of stepping away from your desk to eat the delicious lunch you packed for yourself. You recharge, refuel, and get back at it!

You remain engaged and focused throughout the afternoon. You feel energized by the value you’re adding to your agency. You support your co-workers and they support you.

You leave work on time, something you’ve committed to doing every day. You take a moment to feel grateful for a work environment that supports balanced living. 

You look forward to your drive home. There may be a lot of traffic, but that just means more time to listen to your favorite podcast. You now see car time as “me time,” and you’ve seen how investing time in yourself overflows into every area of your life. 

You arrive to pick up your kids. They see you, with a big smile on your face, and they come running toward you for a big hug.

Sound too good to be true? I PROMISE YOU. THIS KIND OF MAGIC IS POSSIBLE! Want to work toward your perfect day? Click HERE to sign up for a 100% free, no obligation 60 minute coaching session. It’s time to reclaim your life! Let’s do this together.

Hate filling out forms? Send me a quick email at hello@monikawhitmore.com or call me at (816) 392-3034.